Robin Williams – Depression Is A Killer!
Even the rich and famous can suffer from depression.
Way back in 1978, Mork and Mindy burst onto our TV screens at the 5.30pm tea-time slot. After a one-off guest appearance in “Happy Days” another cult show at the time.
It was back in the days when there was only the basic TV channels to choose from. I was an addict to the mad cap fun and humour of Robin Williams aka “Mork From Planet Ork”.
I was hooked, and a fan from the outset of Robin Williams. I felt I had grown up with him! Did my exams at school, went to college, went to my first night club during the time he was on air. My first real and serious boyfriend….a lot of firsts.
I followed Robin Williams throughout all his films and life, from Mrs Doubtfire to the more serious films Dead Poets Society and the rather controversial and very funny “Good Morning Vietnam” film.
He ad libbed his way through everything! And I laughed and laughed and laughed. He was the funniest man I knew, and loved him and felt I really knew him.
I was devastated to hear that he had died, and more shocked to hear that he suffered with depression. Robin Williams was so very much part of my growing up years. There was always a moralistic reflection at the end of his shows and his films. Something to reflect on in terms of how you enacted in life and treated others.
Although incredibly funny, there was a more serious and beautiful reflection on life and values at the end of each show and film. And I almost clung onto what each moral reflection might be and took them on board. A kind of a “Tao of Robin Williams!”
As I got older, and experienced my own ups and downs and life’s stresses and successes. I frequently thought how wonderful it would be, if I could live my life in such a fun way, to always be smiling, even if life was challenging.
When the news broke that Robin Williams had died, I felt that a part of me died that day. A part of my innocence of “how life could be” in a funny sort of way.
I had no idea, until after Robin Williams had died that he suffered many personal challenges. During his rise to stardom, he developed a drug and alcohol problem while working on the sitcom Mork and Mindy, and would struggle with addiction for more than two decades. He also became involved in several tumultuous romantic relationships; whilst married to actress Valerie Velardi, he was involved with other women.
I use the analogy of wearing “a clown’s smile” smiling falsely, even when you don’t feel it inside. I have been guilty of that at times in my life. Being the “life and soul of the party” even when I just didn’t really feel it.
Being in a room full of people, but actually still feeling very alone and isolated.
A kind of an outward social exterior, that just didn’t match what I actually felt inside. Most of the time, I lacked a lot of confidence and always “seeked approval” from others. “What do you think of this” Should I do that”.
There was some things that just felt totally “right” for me to do, and I did them! Despite the protests from family and friends. That was when I was in touch with my own inner compass.
I felt that I just didn’t “fit in” somehow. I always looked outside of myself as I was growing up and through a lot of my adult life, until I started my healing journey in 1988. Which caused me to look outside of myself, to “go inside of myself” for the answers, An interesting and powerful journey.
I was saddened to hear that Robin Williams did the same. That he was a very sad and unhappy man underneath his madcap humour, that never failed to have me in uncontrollable laughter. He made an impact on so many people’s lives and made millions,billions, trillions of people laugh. And yet, he was so, very sad inside. And I didn’t even know!
RIP Robin Williams, your legacy and humour lives on.
Thank you for being an amazing mentor in my life.
Caroline Heward – “The Harley Street Stress Expert”
Stress Xpress – Harley Street Clinic
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